Ten Things I Hate About You
In The Office, there is a certain senior member who’s getting more and more on my nerve with every passing day. He is four pay grades above me, but has demonstrated a terrible lack of competency for the fat paycheck he’s getting every end of the month. Please observe the evidences below as I try to build a case against him.
- You talk to much. He blabbers all day about nothing. I can’t understand how he can stand hours after hours of talking about trivial things. Even worse, he does that on the company’s time and dime.
- You’re living in the past. Every now and then he makes reference to old technologies, “It’s just like the old system. I used to audit them all. It was easier back then. I used to teach all the other auditors about it.” Wake up, Man. There’s no point in remembering your so-called good old days. Keep up with the tech or stay out of the way.
- You’re great at concepts but that’s all you’ve got. Sure, you can talk concepts at lengths, but FYI, concept without application means nothing, nada, zilch.
- You use office supplies and equipments for your own personal profit, excessively. Last time I checked, a thesis for your master degree doesn’t fall into something that is in the interest of The Company. Then, you further complicate things by moving the supposedly shared printer to your own cubicle or borrowing the USB cable for the printer. Don’t even get me started on the company-bought reams of papers you print the thesis on, the CD-Rs you use to share your class work, and the telephone cost you use to discuss the homeworks at length with your classmates.
- You defer jobs that fall into your job description to your inferiors. Job descriptions are not just pieces of paper. They define your responsibility as a professional. When you give blank audit procedures to your team members and just say, “It’s easy with me. I’m flexible.” as a cover, you just earn yourself my disrespect. Blank audit procedures is not a flexibility, it’s a neglect of your own responsibility as a team leader. Audit result letters, electronic workpaper projects, letters to the auditee, they are all your responsibility, Mister! Asking for help is all okay with me, just as long you don’t do anything for your personal interest instead!
- You talk tough about your rights but don’t return equal amount of work for The Company. Stock prices, stock options, incentives, bonuses, salary raise, are those the only things you care about? You complain about the declining of the company’s stock price – which will undoubtedly affect your earnings on your stock options – but do nothing to increase its value with the quality of your work. And, BTW, attending your sick child is a job for your (non-working) wife, not yourself.
- Your repeating of the others’ saying doesn’t make you look smart. You’ll look stupid, stupid. Saying the exact same thing – albeit with different wording – after someone has said it five minutes ago is far from clever. You just waste other people’s time.
- Your sucking up to the bosses shows your quality: low quality. Not everybody will return your sucking up and boot licking efforts. Pathetic effort to save your ass of your own incompetence.
- You’re too lazy to get your fat butt out of your chair. Constantly – yes, constantly – asking others to help you buy your lunch is getting old. We’re not your servants and therefore have no obligation to act like so.
- You manipulate a kind person for your own personal gain. By “a kind person”, I mean Ronald. Yes, he is a good-hearted fellow who’s eager to help anyone that ask him for a favor. But I don’t think coaxing him to do what you are supposed to do yourself, on your free time, about your own personal interest, falls into that category. He is a colleague, a good friend, not a doormat.
- You stamp others’ presence card even when you’re not asked to. Doing so is not a benevolence, you’re just sowing bad corporate culture. All the money for those corporate culture sessions and outings just goes to waste, in part thanks to you.
Yes, I know, it was supposed to be a list of ten things, but that’s just how mad I am at you. I’ll rue the day you are transfered to somewhere else!